i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
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