i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
