yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
