so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
