What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
