I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
