No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
