Small penises have feelings too.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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