Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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