good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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