he thought i was a dude.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
