D3 body, D1 cock
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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