Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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