My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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