Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
