you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
