Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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