We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
