She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
