i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
