worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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