Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
