My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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