Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
