its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We just shotgunned beers for America
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
