I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
