This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
