It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
