What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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