But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So squirting runs in the family.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
