That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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