dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I need a beard to bite.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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