it wasn't lemon gatorade
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
