I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
even my farts smell like vagina
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
