So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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