Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
