haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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