Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
