Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
