IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
