she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
