Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
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