I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
