that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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