Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
