I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
