Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
