jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
