Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
