im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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