OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
