Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
