you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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