Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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