we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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