Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
